…Got any grapes?

Today was a day where mainly this was in my head.

It’s great isn’t it?  I think I get even more pleasure from it than Anna does, in fact I reckon she doesn’t much notice when it’s on the screen.

Which is fine, really because it means that I still get to enjoy it at the same time as her not polluting her brain or something.

TV and DVDs and youchoob n that, it’s a big no-no/dame (that’s pronounced “da-may” and means “don’t” to all whose grasp of Japanese is ordering the solidified pish that the Jap chain restaurants pass off as food in the UK coupled with several viewings of the Karate Kid trilogy)

And is not for weans as young as mine, apparently.  Duzza powera damage tae your ability tae  concen t r a…

Or something like that.

So I’m basically going to warble that song at my nieces for a while and and pass it off as my own, for it is unlikely that they’ve feasted their shining wee eyes on this post.  But they might have had more access to the mighty youtube than I’ve allowed my wee chopper.  It is possible for they are older.

We’ll see.  I’ve got until 28thDecember to, in the words of the great Simon Cowell, Cheryl Whatsherface, Louis Blandface Walsh and the one that isn’t Kylie to “make the song my own”  and wow my collective audience of 3-5 year old girls.

It’s a killer though, they’re harsh.  Especially if you’re related to them; it’s taps aff bare chisted brutality if you’re a bit shite.

I’d better get practicing then.  And as anyone who ever attended end of the month club will surely know, that practice is not my forte…

And little do they know that it’s my present to them this year because we are mostly spending Little Timmy’s New Leg Fund on actually getting my bahooky back out of Glasgow and to Japan where Kaz will be waiting not so patiently.

I’m leaving him in Oita over New Year and taking our daughter with us.  In all fairness, I think that is taps aff bare chisted brutality at its broken Bucky brandishing finest.

Incidentally there are some might strange noises coming from the block of flats behind us.  It sounds like someone is doing karate nearby, but I have no idea where that would be possible…O Japan, tell us your secrets.


I only recently learned to drive.  I did it whilst pregged up so that at least I could be a pseudo grownup in the eyes of my offspring.  I haven’t ever had that experience of the first car.  I practiced using my Mum’s car and then I came to Japland and began using Kaz’ big people carrier thing.  So it’s not my car strictly.  I’ve yet to afford a car all of my own and so haven’t gone through what I can only imagine to be a rollercoaster of emotions when thinking about, viewing, test-driving and purchasing that vital vehicle.

Still, I wonder how, someone can go through all of that, and then actually part money for this…

Not only the colour (for I know that majority of burds will notice the colour first and foremost-what? Sexist? Tosh.  It’s fact.)

the beautiful pea ‘n’ ham soup colour, but there’s something else that I don’t think this microscopic pic allows normal human eyes to notice.

The name.

The creative minds at Daihatsu have really got to congratulate themselves here for this one…


It’s called a “latte”.

A fucking latte.


I think that there is absolutely not a thing wrong with this car in honesty.  I mean the colour is obviously pure boke (yes I know that boke is spelled “baulk” but I just like boke ok?)  and colour is an opinion, it’s a preference and a feeling and therefor I respect it.  And a name is a name is a name.

I think that I just took the photie of this wee bucketashite car after it was driven by a fud down a monster fucking hill with the foot on the bastard brake the whole fucking way.

I think that’s what inspired that shot to be honest.




About mawface

I live in Oita, I like to write about all the little things that happen to me here, there and everywhere.
This entry was posted in Christmas ravings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to …Got any grapes?

  1. Graeme says:

    sexist. fact.

  2. mawface says:

    Doesn’t make it false though.

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